Friday, August 9, 2013

Don't go broke in college!

The Denver post recently published an article on how to keep from going broke in college. The five point piece offered these ideas:

1. Think first, spend later.
2. Monitor emotional spending.
3. Establish a budget.
4. Reject peer spending pressure.
5. Plan now for later.

Although each of those are very practical and well backed ideas, I thought I should one up the Denver post with a list all my own. I’ve been to college much more recently than any of them anyway right?

Trinity’s 5 pointers on not going broke in college:

1. Never buy food. Putting money into eating could make you go broke or gain the ever dreaded “freshman fifteen”. So, for the first bit at college, buy the 50 cent bags of peanuts at the gas station. Then when you’ve reached the weight the BMI chart suggests, you are allowed to begin eating normal meals. I’d suggest eating at your school’s cafeteria if you were required to purchase a meal plan when you enrolled, use your meal tickets there. When those run out, strategically surround yourself with grandparent aged folks who have sent all of their family members away and are lonely. Then go visit them frequently. If they have any heart at all, they’ll bombard you with food…constantly. Lastly, join a good Church. How do you know it’s a good Church? By the frequency of potlucks it hosts. Think this through. With any questions you have just call the Baptists or Lutherans.

2. Don’t buy new clothes in college. Ever. If you are strategic with point one, you’ll learn that your friends were not. It is likely that many of them will gain the freshman fifteen and all of those stylish outfits they used to own, will be passed down to you. Ka-ching!

3. Don’t worry about purchasing books. Even though every teacher says you need their book for their class, there’s a simple way to find every chapter from nearly every textbook online. There are numerous websites that provide these services. Math books are an exception to this rule. No website in their right mind would spend time typing in all of those numbers and figures. You actually might have to buy this one. Or just suck up to the teacher. Then they’ll let you borrow their copy.

4. If you don’t have time to get a college job…create one! While doing your homework, do homework for your classmates too. This is simple for you but don’t let them know that. Make it sound grueling. Make it sound even torturous. The harder the homework, the more money in the bank.

I thought I’d need a rule number five to show up Denver Post. Honestly though, I’ve shown you 3 ways to save money, how to stay in shape and how to have constant cash flow. To purchase these tips in a nicely written, frameable fashion just email me. Happy college to you!

(Please note this is tongue in cheek. The writer never participated in any such activities!)

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