Thursday, July 25, 2013

criminal activity and the ranch pickup

There's not a lot of crimes I'd like to commit but when I really think about it there's one unlawful practice in which I'd like to take part.
 If I could find an old highway sign, one with black letters and orange in the behind, that said "PILOT CAR FOLLOW ME" that's where I'd start.
I can just see how much fun it'd be to strap that big sign to my jeep. I'd cruise through the busiest part of town in a single-file line.
I'd lead them every which way I could, if our town had one, I'd drag them through the hood and they'd call in late to work because of construction on HWY 29.
I'd have to be strategic, it's true, so that the ol' cops wouldn't catch on to what I'd do so I'd just broadcast on the radio that there's some road work bein' done.
I'm not sure it's very practical for me to use my own regularly seen jeep. I wouldn't want a bad reputation if they recognized me so I guess I'd borrow one.
It wouldn't be good if I took my boss's car, that'd probably be taking this thing too far. He's a businessman and well respected in the community too.
I know which vehicle will work just right, it's one that is never in the public's sight. It's loud and looks hard workin' and is construction white - not red or blue.
Sure it was new in 69, it has a missin' door and is full of wire rolls and twine but that pickup from the ranch might work just okay.
'Course I'd have to take our good cowdog out. From the way he roams about nearly everyone in this lil' town knows him by name.
Somethin' else that I should consider is the way to start and keep it runnin', you gotta twitter and figet and keep a plier handy to turn it back off.
And then once she does start up good and fresh she sometimes spurts and has bad breath it has to do with oil spillin' and the way the old thing coughs.
I suppose then the other issue would be the way everyone might wave at me because in small town America that's a gesture that is just a natural.
So there I'd be in a breakin' down pickup truck, not in it's prime but good enough. In the hood with people wavin' and... this doesn't sound good at all.
I guess I'll have to rethink this up. Find a different car or pickup truck. But when I do I'll be sure you're the first to know.
The next time your stuck on the tail end of a car that's leadin' you through freshly laid tar at least now you'll have a place for your mind to go.

Trinity Lewis




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