Reindeer are pretty elegant creatures.
They're not all antlers and red noses.
They have some mysterious other features
like wardrobes and painted toeses.
I know this may come as a shock to y'all
and I don't mean to catch you off guard.
I'm the head reindeer elf, name's Paul,
I feed em, pamper em and keep em in the yard.
There's been one really strange thing
I've recently had to learn how to do,
it's put mascara on the dang things
while they listened to their favorite tunes.
Ya, I know what you're thinkin'
All of this stuff sounds pretty crazy.
I'm tellin' ya they could drive a guy to drinkin'.
Though, there's one thing for sure,
they keep me from gettin' lazy.
Oh? You didn't know Santa's reindeer are women?
What male would go by the name Dancer?
Worse than that is Dasher and Vixen,
but the highest maintenance one is Prancer.
She picked out Santa's red velvet suit.
What man would pick out white fur
or think those shiny big boots are cute?
I guess there's only one way left to convince you,
and to help you understand these ladies that fly,
only women can travel the world without gettin' lost
and drag an old man through the sky!