Wednesday, December 12, 2012

The Easy Bake Oven

This morning on the Television a girl had started a petition.
She was all up in arms because of a certain situation
that seems to be increasingly common in our world.
She was worried because "easy-bake" ovens are only made for girls.

I remember when I was a wee-tike, it wasn't long ago,
I asked for my own "easy-bake" and don't 'ya know,
Santa pulled through and early morning Christmas day
there under the Christmas tree my new oven lay.

In the days and months that followed I used it all the time.
My mom would encourage me and little recipes she'd help find.
I baked cakes, cookies and I baked creations with no real description.
I begged my big brother to join me but he said that'd cause humiliation.

Boys don't bake! They ride bikes, help with cattle and work on cars.
He thought I was silly for even asking, looked at me like I came from mars.
Looking back it was good that my brother took a stand,
He grew up big and strong and now he's a real man.

So now let's get back to this issue from this morning's news.
I'm not sayin' that men shouldn't bake, they don't have to refuse
helpin' around the house, doin' little things here and there.
But when it comes to toys like ovens, boys and girls shouldn't compare.

I realized the problem that resulted from this attempt
to "siss-ify" boys and empower women and leave no one exempt.
It was the first week or two at college when a pretty girl walked my way.
As she got closer I realized that her hair was a long toupee.
Not only that but this girl in her short skirt, and tight top,
had more hair on her legs than a mammoth and my jaw began to drop.
This girl was none such, even though she wore lipstick and heels.
As I continued to study her I realized this was the real deal.
See I'd come from out in the country where men dressed
in blue jeans and t-shirts or a western pearl snap at best.
I'd heard of this type of person but to see them in real life
was none less then unsettling so I scurried on as to not cause strife.

Now, I don't want to hurt anyone's thoughts or their feelings.
I know some men like to cook and for that reason I have this offering.
If your little boy want's something to cook on this year and manly you'd like him to feel
stop worrying about exclusion and discrimination and just buy the kid a grill! 

(In no way is this poem meant to offend anyone or their lifestyle. If you have an issue with any of the topics I've mentioned please message me personally and I'd be happy to share the reasons behind my view and listen to yours.)


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