Well the time of year is finally here when resolutions are in style.
When figuring what I'd resolve to do, I had to ponder a while.
I could give up my watchin' of Fox News and my addiction to coffee.
I could say I'll run for Mrs. America or make a film and win an Emmy.
I need to be honest with myself, I like the news all too well.
How would I ever quit coffee? My attitude sure wouldn't be swell.
Pageantry? That's not my line of work or even an interest.
If I made a movie it'd be too political or too preachy at best.
So I guess I better aim lower so my goals are actually attainable.
Here I go, I'll list my resolves and I'll end it with an ode!
This year I'll try to listen more and talk a whole lot less.
I'll thank God everyday for the many ways I'm blessed.
I'll kiss my husband in the morning and try to keep a sweet disposition.
When he comes home I'll strive to have supper on and a clean kitchen.
I'll call my in laws, no! not names, just on the phone!
I'll visit my parents so they're not so often seen alone.
I'll smile when strangers walk by and try to be kind to democrats.
I'll grit my teeth and pet those nasty dogs and stop kicking as many cats.
I'll "buck up" when it's cold outside and stop complainin' about the chill.
I'll volunteer until I can't anymore, and put extra cash in the Church till.
And now for what you've all been waiting for, my ode to 2013,
May your food always be plenteous but your body stay nice and lean.
May your vote go to normal people who actually deserve to be in office.
May your pickups run and your cows stay fat and your tongue never cuss.
May your kids do well in and out of school and may they remember one last word,
if we actually stuck to all the things we resolve, our world would be much less absurd!